Being Social...

I'm not the best at this. I mean, let's face it, I have a blog...
But I'm learning, I really am. I am observing and learning from the best so that one day I, too, may be social.
It's a delicate balancing act, however. You have to be really clever at beaming at everyone and hugging everyone and saying 'I love you' to everyone, whilst at the same time bitching about everyone to everyone behind everyone else's back. You also have to be really clever at being stupidly happy one moment and then bawling your eyes out the next...although I'm fairly sure the alcohol has a lot to do with that.

     Alcohol. Yes, it is imperative to always - I mean ALWAYS - have a bottle or can of alcohol fused to your hand. I mean, if you didn't, how would you even tell it was a party? And don't try and get away with that 'holding an empty bottle' trick. No. If the bottle you are holding is empty, you must get a new one ASAP or risk killing the party.

    The reason I have not yet reached socialite, I believe, is because I genuinely hate the taste of alcohol. I think it's revolting. People tell me to drink the funky coloured vodka drinks because "it just tastes like sugar" - then what's the point?! If I want a drink that tastes like sugar, I'll go and have a Coke or a Fanta and not have to deal with the headache the morning after or the random collapsing. I was at an 18th last night and I went and asked for a drink and the girl at the drinks table asked me if I was 18, to which I replied that I was but I'd just like a Coke. She gave me the weirdest look and a kind of "Oh...ok.." before handing me a can of Coke. Obviously I'd missed the memo that this was a party...